Dirty and smashed windows

Being depressed can be described as living in a house with dirty and smashed windows. You can never leave the house, but you can see that the surroundings changing. Everything is seen through these dirty windows and you’re to busy to clean or mend them. Slowly you forget what it is like to look through clean windows, and being unpowered by the depression you start to like being inside. You may even stop trying to look out. It’s no use, you can’t see anything, the dirt is so thick.

Then, someday, by your own or others’ initiative you start to look out and decide it’s time to fix these windows. Because they’re so smashed and dirty you must replace them. When removing the windows, your somewhat safe filter between your darkness on the inside, and the brightness on the outside, you feel as naked. You think everyone can see everything. And that they very much dislike what they’re seeing.

Maybe you put the windows back in place. You don’t want to be seen naked and in all your misery. But eventually, if you’re going to live on, you need to remove them. You must try to cope with the nudity and the lights, noise and stares from the outside world. You’ll try to look out again and again, afraid of what the outside world may think of you. Maybe even shamfeul of the fact that while the world looks this great, you’ve been hiding inside the darkest, dirtiest and most smashed windows in your town.

You’ll run back inside, not able to cover yourself behind the windows, trying to hide in the darkness of the room. As far away from the windows as possible. That’s your new safe place. But as the light keeps on flowing in, the room is about to be fully lit, and the hiding place is no longer safe, but by now it is no longer needed. You’ll put in new windows. You’ll re-establish a natural barrier between yourself and the world around you. You’ll take care of the windows, may even put up some nice curtains, or a flower or two. And, if you’ve learned to clean them properly, and take care of them, not letting anyone break them, you can keep your windows clean for a long time… maybe for good? Nevertheless, if they get dirty again, or someone breaks them, you’ve been through this before, you know how to fix them!

Remember to “clean your windows regularly”!