Tuesday, October 13, 2009
In another program, I heard a girl explaining why she want's to stay pure until married - and she used the image of an apple. If you give yourself to first one guy - and she ate a bite of the apple, then to another one - and she ate another bite - and in the end, it is only the apple's carcass left. That was a good image of how it is. I really enjoy knowing that my husband and I hasn't been intimate with anyone but each other. I don't need to think about how my performance is, he doesn't compare me to anyone!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
She's already started to show something. She sleeps well, just as her brother did and still does. By themselves they started sleeping the whole night through at 2-3 months of age. She's put to bed, still awake, but with a full stomach, at 10 pm (+/-), and sleeps to 7.30 or 8.00 am. Perhaps it's because she's bottle fed, I don't know. I haven't heard about breast fed babies sleeping all night at such an early age. And, she sleeps in our bedroom, but in her own bed. Our son slept by our side until he was 3 years. Then he wanted to move into the spare bedroom. Now he's put to sleep in his own bed in his own room, but sometime during the night he walks into ours and sleeps in the middle of our bed. I think it's nice. Waking up with him close to my back, under my doona, is the perfect way to wake up! I lay still, thinking how lucky I am, waiting for him to wake up. :)
Becoming pregnant was never a certainity to me, as I have the PCO-syndrome (poly cystic ovaries) which can affect ones abilities to become pregnant. I'm a pessimist, so I assumed I couldn't become pregnant, and started the adoption process. But when contacting our local authorities, and learning that one couldn't apply for adoption whilst still going to therapy (as I was at the time - in fact still are), I was already pregnant with our son. I was very disappointed with the response from the local authorities, as I knew my husband and I would make good parents. And everyone we know tells us that we are good parents for our two kids.
Even though I'm still in therapy, and have needed extra help and support from professionals after the births (due to me having anxiety and post natal depression), no-one have ever suggested that I shouldn't have children, or that I am unfit as a mother. In fact, the professionals has said that I'm strong, and that it's good of me to seek help when needed. Too many mums hides their problems and tries to make it by themselves. Perhaps ashamed by the thought that they didn't make it as good as they wanted to.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
But he still has to wait for a couple of weeks to celebrate his birthday.
Monday, August 31, 2009
I really enjoyed my long hair, knowing that it was correct according to the Scriptures, but it became too difficult for me to have my hair long and not cover it. I felt a need to cover this glory, but I don't have the courage to do so. So I thought it's a disgrace to have ones hair uncovered, and it's a disgrace to cut it. By cutting it I felt that I removed the glory I needed to cover... This is difficult for me. I really want to cover my hair, but I fear the attention I will receive if I start to cover. All the explanations, questions, stares etc. Sometimes I think it would be easy to move to another place and start covering, but that's more of a daydream than reality.
1. Cor 11:5 But any woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered disgraces her head, for it is one and the same thing as having a shaved head. 11:6 For if a woman will not cover her head, she should cut off her hair. But if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, she should cover her head. 11:7 For a man should not have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man. 11:8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man. 11:9 Neither was man created for the sake of woman, but woman for man. 11:10 For this reason a woman should have a symbol of authority 3 on her head, because of the angels. 4 11:11 In any case, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 11:12 For just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman. But all things come from God. 11:13 Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? 11:14 Does not nature 5 itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace for him, 11:15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. 6
I think I will have my hair long again, to let it grow from now, but what should I do when it becomes long and "glory"?
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
I read a book called "Tyngdepunktet" (=the pivot), by J.H. Matlary (picture) (on why she became a Catholic), and she writes about how she sees herself as a form of God's assistant in her everyday life. Even when doing the laundry she tries to see that task as an important task in her role as a God's assistant. And she says that everyone can be a God's assistant in his or her everyday life. (Photo taken by Kjetil Ree.© 2009 Kjetil Ree, some rights reserved.)
I really want to be able to see that my household chores are meaningful... I see that they're important, but they seem more boring and uninspiring and I find them easy to postpone until later... But I want to be inspired and do them with a sense of meaningfulness. That this is my important role in life, and that I'm doing what God wants me to do.
I've allways been curious and inspired by nuns. I don't know anyone, but the fact that they've forsaked a lot of the world's goods and possibilites, and lives their lives according to their vocation and in tune with God and with their faith. I've always thought that everyone should think more about others than oneself. But that's not the way of today. The society teaches us to think more about ourselves than others. And that's what the nuns do - they live their lives to help/work for/pray for others. I think that's what inspires me most!
I wonder how life as a nun is. Perhaps a nun also can feel a lack of meaning? I've read that Mother Theresa felt that God was far away and that in spite of her praying, she lived in a darkness.
Today (and this is fairly representative for a normal weekday morning), she woke up at 7.30 making noises (not crying) to wake me up. I got up and got dressed and went back to pick her up, and she smiles at me when seeing me coming to get her. We went downstairs and I made her a bottle and fed her whilst watching the morning show (Good Morning Norway) at TV and eating my breakfast (sandwiches prepared by my husband).
Usually our son is up and sits together with me watching the show and eating his breakfast. But today he slept until 8. And I made him his breakfast (yoghurt and müsli). Then I dress our girl and our son and tidy up and make us all ready to walk to his kindergarten. Allthough I'm at home now, he's in kindergarten from 9.30 until 15.00 to play with the other kids. There's no one home at this time of day for him to play with. The walk to and from his kindergarten takes appr. half an hour. When I'm back at 10.00 I read the newspaper and have a cup of tea.
My husband has already gone to work by bus by the time we get up.
Our girl is to be baptized next weekend, and the party is to be held at a hotel. So there's minimal stress for us. My mother will bake some cakes and make the dress ready (she only needs to exchange the ribbons, from blue to pink). She made the dress to our son's baptism 3,5 years ago. It is very beautiful.
I now look forward to the day both to have her baptized and thus a member of the Church and receive the Holy Spirit. And to celebrate her, our beautiful and gorgeous little girl.
Apropos little - she's grown 10 cm since her birth three months ago. She's now 61 cm long.