Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Dating vs courtship - what's the difference?

I wonder what the differences between dating and courtship are? I saw an episode of the World's strictest parents and the daughter in the house said that she wouldn't date, as dating is the reason why so many people divorces. But courtship was ok. Perhaps courtship is the same as dating without the physical part?

In another program, I heard a girl explaining why she want's to stay pure until married - and she used the image of an apple. If you give yourself to first one guy - and she ate a bite of the apple, then to another one - and she ate another bite - and in the end, it is only the apple's carcass left. That was a good image of how it is. I really enjoy knowing that my husband and I hasn't been intimate with anyone but each other. I don't need to think about how my performance is, he doesn't compare me to anyone!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Children are a blessing


and a gift from God! This family can consider themselves blessed, they have 18 children (+ one on its way)! (I like the girls' dress and hair)


I'm happy with our two beautiful children, I consider them perfect in every way, even when our 4-year old is testing our patience and limits. Of course I'm angry at him sometimes, but when the problem is solved, and the anger is gone (by the way, I'm impressed at how fast that anger passes away in both our son and me), I see the little perfect son he is! Good-looking, smart, kind, and so on. I'm looking forward to get to know our baby daughter too. I wonder how her personality is, what her voice sounds like (when talking, not screaming - that I know!), what her interests will be.<

She's already started to show something. She sleeps well, just as her brother did and still does. By themselves they started sleeping the whole night through at 2-3 months of age. She's put to bed, still awake, but with a full stomach, at 10 pm (+/-), and sleeps to 7.30 or 8.00 am. Perhaps it's because she's bottle fed, I don't know. I haven't heard about breast fed babies sleeping all night at such an early age. And, she sleeps in our bedroom, but in her own bed. Our son slept by our side until he was 3 years. Then he wanted to move into the spare bedroom. Now he's put to sleep in his own bed in his own room, but sometime during the night he walks into ours and sleeps in the middle of our bed. I think it's nice. Waking up with him close to my back, under my doona, is the perfect way to wake up! I lay still, thinking how lucky I am, waiting for him to wake up. :)

Becoming pregnant was never a certainity to me, as I have the PCO-syndrome (poly cystic ovaries) which can affect ones abilities to become pregnant. I'm a pessimist, so I assumed I couldn't become pregnant, and started the adoption process. But when contacting our local authorities, and learning that one couldn't apply for adoption whilst still going to therapy (as I was at the time - in fact still are), I was already pregnant with our son. I was very disappointed with the response from the local authorities, as I knew my husband and I would make good parents. And everyone we know tells us that we are good parents for our two kids.

Even though I'm still in therapy, and have needed extra help and support from professionals after the births (due to me having anxiety and post natal depression), no-one have ever suggested that I shouldn't have children, or that I am unfit as a mother. In fact, the professionals has said that I'm strong, and that it's good of me to seek help when needed. Too many mums hides their problems and tries to make it by themselves. Perhaps ashamed by the thought that they didn't make it as good as they wanted to.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

My birthday is tomorrow!

Our son had obviously learnt in kindergarten that September started this Tuesday, and Monday evening, when eating dinner, he was very happing announcing that "my birthday is tomorrow". I said, no, your birthday isn't for another three weeks. But he said, no! you said it's tomorrow! By now he was a bit upset, poor thing! Sometimes I'm puzzled by how fast my brain finds the solution to certain things involving my kids, and I thought, aha, he's learnt that September starts Tuesday, and knowing that his birthday is in September he assumed that September meant his birthday was the day after.

But he still has to wait for a couple of weeks to celebrate his birthday.

Monday, August 31, 2009

I've cut my hair

I didn't cut my hair for 1,5 years, but for a month ago I went from long to bob. I know what the Bible says about women's hair.


1. Cor 11:5 But any woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered disgraces her head, for it is one and the same thing as having a shaved head. 11:6 For if a woman will not cover her head, she should cut off her hair. But if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, she should cover her head. 11:7 For a man should not have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man. 11:8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man. 11:9 Neither was man created for the sake of woman, but woman for man. 11:10 For this reason a woman should have a symbol of authority 3 on her head, because of the angels. 4 11:11 In any case, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 11:12 For just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman. But all things come from God. 11:13 Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? 11:14 Does not nature 5 itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace for him, 11:15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. 6

I really enjoyed my long hair, knowing that it was correct according to the Scriptures, but it became too difficult for me to have my hair long and not cover it. I felt a need to cover this glory, but I don't have the courage to do so. So I thought it's a disgrace to have ones hair uncovered, and it's a disgrace to cut it. By cutting it I felt that I removed the glory I needed to cover... This is difficult for me. I really want to cover my hair, but I fear the attention I will receive if I start to cover. All the explanations, questions, stares etc. Sometimes I think it would be easy to move to another place and start covering, but that's more of a daydream than reality.

I think I will have my hair long again, to let it grow from now, but what should I do when it becomes long and "glory"?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Being "God's assistant" in my everyday life


I read a book called "Tyngdepunktet" (=the pivot), by J.H. Matlary (picture) (on why she became a Catholic), and she writes about how she sees herself as a form of God's assistant in her everyday life. Even when doing the laundry she tries to see that task as an important task in her role as a God's assistant. And she says that everyone can be a God's assistant in his or her everyday life. (Photo taken by Kjetil Ree.© 2009 Kjetil Ree, some rights reserved.)

I really want to be able to see that my household chores are meaningful... I see that they're important, but they seem more boring and uninspiring and I find them easy to postpone until later... But I want to be inspired and do them with a sense of meaningfulness. That this is my important role in life, and that I'm doing what God wants me to do.

I've allways been curious and inspired by nuns. I don't know anyone, but the fact that they've forsaked a lot of the world's goods and possibilites, and lives their lives according to their vocation and in tune with God and with their faith. I've always thought that everyone should think more about others than oneself. But that's not the way of today. The society teaches us to think more about ourselves than others. And that's what the nuns do - they live their lives to help/work for/pray for others. I think that's what inspires me most!

I wonder how life as a nun is. Perhaps a nun also can feel a lack of meaning? I've read that Mother Theresa felt that God was far away and that in spite of her praying, she lived in a darkness.

Our morning routines

We're very lucky having a three months old baby sleeping the whole night through. She's fed at 21 or 22 and then put to bed (awake, she finds her sleep herself, without crying), and sleeps until 7.30 or 8.00. She's even slept to 8.30!

Today (and this is fairly representative for a normal weekday morning), she woke up at 7.30 making noises (not crying) to wake me up. I got up and got dressed and went back to pick her up, and she smiles at me when seeing me coming to get her. We went downstairs and I made her a bottle and fed her whilst watching the morning show (Good Morning Norway) at TV and eating my breakfast (sandwiches prepared by my husband).

Usually our son is up and sits together with me watching the show and eating his breakfast. But today he slept until 8. And I made him his breakfast (yoghurt and müsli). Then I dress our girl and our son and tidy up and make us all ready to walk to his kindergarten. Allthough I'm at home now, he's in kindergarten from 9.30 until 15.00 to play with the other kids. There's no one home at this time of day for him to play with. The walk to and from his kindergarten takes appr. half an hour. When I'm back at 10.00 I read the newspaper and have a cup of tea.

My husband has already gone to work by bus by the time we get up.

Baptism problem solved

I had a talk with the new priest, and he understood my situation being the only Catholic in the family and having no Catholic friends og acquaintances. And he said that he'd ask someone to be the Catholic sponsor for our baby girl and pray for her.

Our girl is to be baptized next weekend, and the party is to be held at a hotel. So there's minimal stress for us. My mother will bake some cakes and make the dress ready (she only needs to exchange the ribbons, from blue to pink). She made the dress to our son's baptism 3,5 years ago. It is very beautiful.

I now look forward to the day both to have her baptized and thus a member of the Church and receive the Holy Spirit. And to celebrate her, our beautiful and gorgeous little girl.

Apropos little - she's grown 10 cm since her birth three months ago. She's now 61 cm long.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

"Going to church is no fun"


Today the whole family went to church. My husband as moral support for me, as it's been half a year since I last went because I felt pressured to lead sunday school for the little ones. And I don't want to do it. I've attended the sunday school together with my son, and said I could help out whenever present, but not be in charge. This message somehow didn't get through to the people in charge, and I was sent a list of spring's sunday school dates and asked "which one(s) do you want to lead?" I was in a difficult dilemma... I didn't want to lead and I felt I couldn't say no and still attend mass and sunday school, so I stopped going to church for this last 6 months.

It was of course a difficult thing to do, as I need to go to church regularly to get my spiritual refills, but I didn't have the courage to face the organisators of the sunday school and their continous questions about me leading it.

But today I made a new start. We got a new priest and it's a new month, and I gathered courage by thinking that the organisators are in fact rude by pressuring me to do something I don't want to, and that I have as much right as they to come to church. And I brought along both our new baby girl, our son and my husband.

After mass I was exhausted of the tension I had inside. A couple of women congratulated me with the baby, but other than that I didn't speek to anyone. One of the sunday school organisator asked if having a new baby was the reason why I hadn't been to church for a while, and I simply answered yes.

The problem with this church is that it's too small. Both in terms of actual size of the building and in terms of people going there. That seems like a contradiction, but it's true. There's too many people at every mass, and the church is too hot and overcrowded with people. And there's few other families with small children. Perhaps they belong to the church but doesn't attend mass due to the seating problems (one does get a bad concious for ones active child occupying a seat whilst adults are standing at the back of the church). And there's certainly very few (if any) other Norwegian families with small children. I think our son is the only Norwegian kid. The others are Polish and Vietnamese. And they have their own masses and their own communities within the church. It's somewhat strange being a minority in ones own country... I don't mind getting to know people of different heritages, but it's not easy when they tend to talk their own language amongst themselves.

Our son said that it was no fun going to church. And I agreed with him. It's not funny, but it can be nice and spiritual refilling. But today's mass didn't actually make me want to do it again... it's too hot in the church, with too many people and too little space and air, and I'm constantly thinking about how to make our son learn something and behave properly. It's a stress, and I'm happy when the mass is finished. Attending the sunday school isn't very good either, because it tends to be only a place where the kids can play, and doesn't receive any teaching, and because it's in a different room, I don't get to hear the priest's sermon.

I really don't know what to do. I'm convinced that the Catholic church is the right place for me to worship, and it's the right faith to teach my children, but the masses are not children-friendly, and there's no avtivities for families and kids under the age of 7 (when they're starting to prepare themselves for the first holy communion). And I know that in the lutheran church close to where we live, there's a thriving congregation consisting of many families like our, and they have a vast offer of sunday school adjusted to the kids' ages. What's more important? Activities or content? Lutheran activities and Catholic content would be perfect...

Friday, July 31, 2009

Kabul beauty school


I've read this book, and recommend it to others. It's interesting to read about women's situations around the world.
Click the picture to open the publisher's page about the book. (I tried to paste the text, but nothing appeared...:(

Baptism problem


The Church says that we need a Catholic sponsor for our girl's baptism. And I don't know anyone to ask. I'm the only Catholic in my family, and I have no Catholic friends or acquaintances. I've thought about this since I first learned that I was pregnant, wondering how to solve this problem.


I've contacted the priest in my church and explained the problem to him. And he says that we (I assume he'll help us) could find a sponsor in the church. He understood my thinking (I asked if we really needed to have a Catholic sponsor as we don't know anyone) but he said that this rule is from the early days of the church showing that a baptism is the church/congregation's collective responsability. And that a person in my situation (being the only Catholic in my family and friends) really needed a good sponsor. That's a nice thought, but having to invite a stranger to a family party (which the baptism is to us) does give me angst. I have a serious problem with making new friends, and is really bad at small talk and talking to people I don't know very well.


But, I really want our baby girl to be baptized, and my mother has made a baptism dress, and if we wait too long, she'll outgrow this dress. I'll be happy when the baptism is done. My husband says that a person willing to become a sponsor for a strange baby probably is an outward person, easy to talk to. I hope he's right. It could be nice to know an experienced Catholic who could help me teach my children the Catholic faith. As my husband doesn't believe in God, that's my sole responsability.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Long gone

Since my last post (in October last year) a lot has happened in my life. I'll write more about that later. This is just a quick update.

Our beautiful baby girl was born on May the 20th (c-section) and she's perfect. Our son is a kind big brother showing a lot of care for his little sister. He's sometime little bit of jealous, but that's normal. I'm currently staying at home on mother's leave. I will be at home until spring next year, at least. I'm at the moment not at all longing to get back to work, in fact quite the opposite.

I'm enjoying life as a mother of two (three if counting the dog).

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Cavalier ring


I've ordered this ring from Sculptorstudio in sterling silver. Judging from the photos (I haven't received it yet) it's the finest Cavalier ring I've seen. It's even the cheapest!

I love my Cavalier!