Naked

I went to a store today and wore a t-shirt with very short sleeves and jogging-trousers somewhat thight-fitted and just below the knee in length. Not an outfit I would wear going to work or to the city, but more of an at-home-outfit I use at home and when going to a store where I drive up to the door and go straight in. Comfortable clothes. Strolling through the store I suddenly saw a Muslim lady with an hijab and long sleeves and long skirt, and I felt almost naked… I felt an urgent need to go home and cover myself somewhat more. If I had wore a t-shirt with half sleeves and a long skirt, I doubt that I would’ve felt the same nakedness.

I’m not a muslim, and I don’t feel a need (or calling) to cover that much, but seeing the Muslim woman and feeling the nakedness - it made me think about which one of us is the most liberated woman… me dressing in fitted clothing showing all my bumps and lumps and bare arms, or her covered and modest, hiding her body under loose fitted clothing. I know that I didn’t feel good in the clothes I wore, all though they were comfortable (stretchable material).

I feel it is due time I start to wear more modest clothing, thus practicing what I believe is true… But a problem arises - what to do with the half-modest clothes I already have? I can’t afford to give away almost all of my clothes in order to buy new more modest ones. Almost all my skirts are just below the knee, and my t-shirts are tight fitting, because I’ve tried to look smaller by not hiding myself under large “tents”… Have I felt comfortable? No - because I’ve been very body conscious, and disliked myself because of my stomach, large breasts and generally large body… And I have probably attracted attention to my body by wearing these clothes.

Can wearing thights under the knee-length skirt make the outfit modest?

Homemaker according to God's will

4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. (Titus 2 (New King James Version))

I’m trying to live according to this, but I’ve only just started on this journey of becoming a “Titus 2 woman”. Due to my father being a psycho-/sociopat (what is the difference?) treating me as his servant, over time I built a lot of anger inside me, and I’ve been determined to not let anyone boss me around like he did. This resulted in me letting my husband do all the housework, cooking and so on. I sought to do less than him, afraid of him becoming my household slave master, like my father was, if I showed him that I too could do some housework. But as my husband is in all manners different from my father (except in the fact that they’re both men), I have nothing to fear.

And, in the recent year, I’ve felt as though my husband manages the household so well without me, that there’s no room for me. He’s only doing the housework because he’s kind to me, but I’ve come to think that he’s doing too much. In doing almost all the household chores, he’s pushed me out of my home in some sort. I think that the woman should be the main homemaker, the one responsible for all the household chores, and that the husband can help her by doing some housework delegated to him by the wife. I’ve seen that when my husband is away on business trips, and I’m responsible for all the household in that period, I’m proud of the work I do, and I’m doing what’s right for me. And it gives me more meaning to my life - I’m needed! I have a role to fill, I have tasks to do.

The family is the main component of a society. That’s the Church’s teaching. The man and the wife have both important roles to fill in the family. To me, it’s difficult to understand how so many women with a family can aspire towards personal realisation through work outside of home. Of course, if one is certain that ones home and family doesn’t suffer from the outside work, one can aspire towards having a career. But that would require the woman to be some sort of super-woman, both able to be a mother, wife, homemaker, and career woman. Or, if all the housework is done by someone else, the career thing would be possible. But one still need enough energy to be a mother and a wife. Even though the Churc teaches that a marriage should be open for children, I think that some people should not have kids. It’s better for a couple pursuing their careers and not open for any other priorities, to refrain from having children, than for them to have children that are unhapy because both parents work too much.

I’m a fan of peoples’ right to choose what’s best for one self. I don’t think we should go back to the fifties where only the unmarried, or widowed women worked. But I think that more women should choose part-time work, or even quitting work for a period, in order to devote themselves to their family and children. As not all women are suited to have children, I don’t want it to become an obligation, but I think it should be a different focus in the society. We need to admire the ones devoting themselves to others, in stead of admiring ego-sentric people aspiring towards the fullfilment of their personal goals, not considering the consequences on others.

Miss Headscarf 2008 in Denmark!

I wonder when we’ll see a worldwide competition of this?! Or, perhaps, in the muslim dominated countries, there’s such a thing already? Denmark’s National Broadcaster, Danmarks Radio, has had a Miss Headscarf competition, where any women wearing a headscarf could enter by sending a photo of themselves wearing a headscarf. And here is the winner and the runner ups. Unfortunately, the text is only in Danish, so if you’re having trouble understanding the words, send me a comment and I’ll translate for you. The text showing is the name of the winner and the runner ups and their ages. År=years. And the other text is some fashion experts’ comments about the headscarf. Positive comments about the colours and patterns on the headscarf, and that wearing a headscarf the way these women does, doesn’t make them unstylish.

Crime's got a face!

Driving home from my in-laws yesterday at 20.00, we witnessed two youngsters stealing a car from in front of the supermarket. We drove past the parking lot several times, and the youngsters saw that we saw them and ran behind the supermarket. Then, we met them driving the car, and we followed them for a short distance. Afraid of getting into trouble with the car thieves, we let them drive off, and drove home. We phoned the police several times, giving the information we had. But I don’t know whether the police did anything about it. If they’d come the first time we called, they could have prevented the car being stolen. Today I called the owner, which is a leasing firm, and reported what we had seen, and left my name and number if they should need it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this, it’s a strange thing to see two ordinary looking boys of 16-18 yrs, committing a crime. It would probably have been strange to see anyone commit a car theft, but I think about the sad fact that these two added another crime to their conscience, or even did something illegal for their first time. (Probably not) I wonder what their lives look like, what sort of upbringing and childhood they’ve experienced. Being a mother to a boy, I also think about their mothers. I feel sorry for the two boys. Normally car theft and other crimes are things I read about in the paper, I haven’t actually seen it done before. And things I read about in the paper is easier to distance myself to, than crimes I see committed. It’s like the crime’s got a face now. And the next time I read about a crime, I can’t distance myself as easy as I used to.

Oh no!

I need to see a dentist. I hate going to the dentist! Yesterday I lost a bit of one of my teeth while eating. It just fell out… Some of my teeth have had so many holes plumbed, that only thin walls remains. So it’s no wonder that bits fall off. But, I have to have it checked by the dentist, and thinking about going to the dentist makes my gums sore and sensitive. Although I always have local anesthetics administered, I hate the whole experience… laying there with my mouth opened to the maximum, having the dentist picking and working inside my mouth. The sounds, the tastes, everything is a nightmare.

And then there’s the talk about me cleening my teeth too poorly, I need to floss, brush, and gurgle twice a day. Of course I don’t, and the result is all the holes in my teeth. But, the comfort eating doesn’t make it much better - being sweets and chocolate…

Uninspired

I guess I “suffer” from a mild post-holiday-depression… I’m back at work after 1,5 week of holiday spent mostly in Spain. I’m finding it hard to concentrate at work. It’s a “downer” to return from an exciting country to the well known Norway and everyday-life with all it’s trivialities… I know that one can’t make a holiday last forever, because eventually one would make one’s new situation “everyday-life”, and the magic will be gone. It’s just a phase…

Spain was great. The weather wasn’t much to write home about, but I liked it, as the cold temperature didn’t make me sweat all the time. I was able to use the same shirt for two days! The others disliked the weather, as they didn’t get the tan they wanted. I tried to visit some of the churches, but found several closed. No information about opening hours was given in English. Only Spanish. My understanding of Spanish is limited to what I can “guess” using my French and English knowledge and a little bit of creativity. But I got to visit one of the most important places, The Monasterio de la Santa Faz! :>

That was a special place! I felt the holiness of the room, I felt that Jesus really was present in the room where the cloth is. I felt a need to cover my head and bend down in prayer, unfortunately I didn’t bring a scarf with me, but I knelt down and prayed. It was magic! After a short time I felt cleansed and at peace and happy. It was like this visit was the purpose and goal of the whole trip. I think I would like to go to there again. The cloth is kept in a container in a richly decorated room, with large paintings of the legend behind this piece of cloth.

My husband called it “the holy handkerchief”.

Travelling stress

Later this week we’re going to Spain. And I’ve got this internal continuous stress… I like experiencing other places, but it’s the travelling bit that stresses me the most. Packing all the things one needs for a week away, and before that making sure that all the potential travelling clothes are clean. And then there’s the time issue. The plane leaves at a given time, and we need to be there with all our luggage and everything sorted out before that given time, otherwise we won’t get in the plane… this is a major stress factor, causing me to have nightmares about me running in airports trying to find the gate where my plane is boarding, and with too little time. The latest nightmare was me shopping in the tax free shop suddenly disvocering that the plan was to board in five minutes, and I didn’t have the slightest clue about where the gate was, and I hadn’t decided what to buy… Although I’ve been travelling by car (several times a year), or airplane, for as long as I can remember, and am used to pack my own bag, I still stress about this! I don’t understand it! I’ve never been late, or missed any flights/trains, and I’ve never forgot to pack anything important, so there’s nothing in my experiences explaining this fear I have.

I hope to visit a lot of Catholic churches, and especially the Monasterio de la Santa Faz, where a relic said to be the veil of St. Veronica is kept. St. Veronica gave her veil to Jesus for him to dry his sweat whilst he was carrying the cross, and He handed it back to her and it had a print of his face upon it. The picture of St. Veronica giving her veil to Jesus is one of the Stations of the Cross, found in every Catholic church.

I’ve seen references made to this “history” by some Catholic head coverers as a proof of Jesus approving female veiling.

I think this is the “container” for the veil. As the webpage was only in Spanish, and my understanding of Spanish is rather minimal (I compare the words to French or English to understand), I’m not sure what the proper name for this ”container” could be. But I did understand that there’s a monastery where this is kept. I think St. Veronica is called St. Clarisa in Spain.

From Wikipedia: This relic was acquired by Pope Nicholas V from relatives of the Byzantium Emperor in 1453. This veil was given by a Vatican cardinal to a Spanish priest, Mosen Pedro Mena, who took it to Alicante in southern Spain, where it arrived in 1489, at the same time as a severe drought. Carried in a procession on 17 March by an Alicante priest, Father Villafranca, a tear sprang from the eye of the face of Christ on the veil and rain began to fall. The relic is now housed in the Monastery of the Holy Face (Monasterio de la Santa Faz), on the outskirts of Alicante, in a chapel built in 1611 and decorated between 1677 and 1680 by the sculptor José Vilanova, the gilder Pere Joan Valero and the painter Juan Conchillos. The chapel is decorated with paintings depicting the miraculous termination of the drought, local personalities associated with the founding of the chapel and religious themes of judgment and salvation. The Monastery was extensively restored between 2003-6, together with the Cathedral of Saint Nicholas and the Basilica of St Mary in the city centre, and the three buildings housed an exhibition in 2006 about the relic under the name of The Face of Eternity. ^[12]

As a method of coping with the travelling stress, I tend to over focus on certain things, such as jewellry and handbags. I need to remind myself that buying new items of these just because I’m stressed doesn’t make anything better. It’s a struggle trying to get rid of these comfort buying tactics. And also not buying, just choosing among the items I already have, is difficult. One day I think a small handbag is the perfect one, the next day it’s a larger bag, then I must choose between colours, shapes, materials, length of straps - can it go across my body or not? As all these thoughts and deciscions draws me away from spending time with God, it’s not a good thing for me to do. Yesterday night I spent several hours in front of my computer surfing the Internet for handbags and jewellry to buy in Spain… If I only could be liberated from all this, and use my time on things that are really good to me!