Showing posts with label angst. Show all posts
Showing posts with label angst. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Children are a blessing


and a gift from God! This family can consider themselves blessed, they have 18 children (+ one on its way)! (I like the girls' dress and hair)


I'm happy with our two beautiful children, I consider them perfect in every way, even when our 4-year old is testing our patience and limits. Of course I'm angry at him sometimes, but when the problem is solved, and the anger is gone (by the way, I'm impressed at how fast that anger passes away in both our son and me), I see the little perfect son he is! Good-looking, smart, kind, and so on. I'm looking forward to get to know our baby daughter too. I wonder how her personality is, what her voice sounds like (when talking, not screaming - that I know!), what her interests will be.<

She's already started to show something. She sleeps well, just as her brother did and still does. By themselves they started sleeping the whole night through at 2-3 months of age. She's put to bed, still awake, but with a full stomach, at 10 pm (+/-), and sleeps to 7.30 or 8.00 am. Perhaps it's because she's bottle fed, I don't know. I haven't heard about breast fed babies sleeping all night at such an early age. And, she sleeps in our bedroom, but in her own bed. Our son slept by our side until he was 3 years. Then he wanted to move into the spare bedroom. Now he's put to sleep in his own bed in his own room, but sometime during the night he walks into ours and sleeps in the middle of our bed. I think it's nice. Waking up with him close to my back, under my doona, is the perfect way to wake up! I lay still, thinking how lucky I am, waiting for him to wake up. :)

Becoming pregnant was never a certainity to me, as I have the PCO-syndrome (poly cystic ovaries) which can affect ones abilities to become pregnant. I'm a pessimist, so I assumed I couldn't become pregnant, and started the adoption process. But when contacting our local authorities, and learning that one couldn't apply for adoption whilst still going to therapy (as I was at the time - in fact still are), I was already pregnant with our son. I was very disappointed with the response from the local authorities, as I knew my husband and I would make good parents. And everyone we know tells us that we are good parents for our two kids.

Even though I'm still in therapy, and have needed extra help and support from professionals after the births (due to me having anxiety and post natal depression), no-one have ever suggested that I shouldn't have children, or that I am unfit as a mother. In fact, the professionals has said that I'm strong, and that it's good of me to seek help when needed. Too many mums hides their problems and tries to make it by themselves. Perhaps ashamed by the thought that they didn't make it as good as they wanted to.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Baptism problem


The Church says that we need a Catholic sponsor for our girl's baptism. And I don't know anyone to ask. I'm the only Catholic in my family, and I have no Catholic friends or acquaintances. I've thought about this since I first learned that I was pregnant, wondering how to solve this problem.


I've contacted the priest in my church and explained the problem to him. And he says that we (I assume he'll help us) could find a sponsor in the church. He understood my thinking (I asked if we really needed to have a Catholic sponsor as we don't know anyone) but he said that this rule is from the early days of the church showing that a baptism is the church/congregation's collective responsability. And that a person in my situation (being the only Catholic in my family and friends) really needed a good sponsor. That's a nice thought, but having to invite a stranger to a family party (which the baptism is to us) does give me angst. I have a serious problem with making new friends, and is really bad at small talk and talking to people I don't know very well.


But, I really want our baby girl to be baptized, and my mother has made a baptism dress, and if we wait too long, she'll outgrow this dress. I'll be happy when the baptism is done. My husband says that a person willing to become a sponsor for a strange baby probably is an outward person, easy to talk to. I hope he's right. It could be nice to know an experienced Catholic who could help me teach my children the Catholic faith. As my husband doesn't believe in God, that's my sole responsability.